Mental Health Monday: Nobody's life is perfect so don't let social media fool you

This is the first in a series of blogs for our Mental Health Monday. Dragon Ghostwriters are mental health advocates and we feel strongly about reducing the stigma attached to mental health. We want to do our bit to encourage everyone who is struggling to speak out and reach out for the help and support they need in order to feel better.

Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of and we are all in this together. There are many things that can affect our mental health, and many people find that social media has a detrimental effect on their wellbeing.

Social media forms a huge part of many people's lives, but it is often someone's highlights reel that is shown to the world. It is rare (and refreshing) when people are honest about their struggles and challenges, but these posts are often vastly outnumbered by images of seemingly perfect home lives, jobs, and holidays.

Photo by William Iven on Unsplash

There are many inspirational people on social media and it is a great way of connecting with people we might otherwise have lost touch with. Used in moderation social media can be fantastic and even serve as a source of comfort.

It can be problematic when people compare themselves unfavourably to friends, relatives and celebrities, though, and that is when it can become toxic.

Here is an excerpt from Natalie's book Write Through Depression in which she discusses the problems inherent with social media and how to develop a better relationship with it.

Social Media isn’t your friend

(or a good idea when you are depressed)

“Someone else is happy with less than what you have."

Author Unknown

Nine times out of ten social media will make you feel a lot worse about yourself, especially when you are having a particularly bad day. So do your best to avoid it when this is happening. It’s addictive, and I will admit myself that I spend way to much time on it. I downloaded an app recently that showed me exactly how much time I was spending on each social media platform. I was shocked and ashamed that I wasted that much time every day, while complaining I never have time for anything else. It was a reality check, and gave me the kick I needed to make a change.

The first thing I did was get rid of my personal Facebook profile. I have a different one now, with no friends added, that I use to follow pages I like, and keep my business active. I’m so glad I did, and it’s saving me at least an hour a day. I suggest getting an app and you will be surprised about the amount of time you waste on social media. Your mobile phone may already have this facility and an option to warn you when you are reaching a set limit of your choice. I know if you run a business then you need social media, but you can spend half an hour a day scheduling your posts, then you can forget about it and go about your day. You could even outsource your social media, if you really wanted to cut your time down.

It’s really easy to look at people you follow and admire on social media and be jealous of their lives, but trust me if you look hard or even sometimes no so hard, you will always have something they don’t. You might have children, be able to drive, have a degree, good skin, be talented at singing. I guarantee at least one person you follow will be wishing they had that one thing you have, the one thing that makes you special.

Nobody’s life is perfect!

Social media is a distorted and filtered version of real life. People show you what they want you to see. Take my platforms for instance. I do sometimes post about bad days and I did this a lot more on Facebook. I annoyed myself with how negative I was. This was one of the main reasons I decided to get rid of it. On Twitter I occasionally post about depression, which I mentioned at the beginning of the book. I want people to know I go through the same things they do. I retweet more on depression than I personally post. But on the whole I try and post positive things. I don’t want to damage myself or my brand and negativity breeds negativity. However, everyone has bad days and showing those is what makes us human.

Social media doesn’t need to be a bad thing in your life. I follow other authors and it spurs me on. I enjoy watching beauty vloggers on YouTube. Watching these videos gives me an escape. I highly recommend following people you admire because they will help you strive for better, just remember they are real people with real problems just like you and me, even if they don’t show them.

I follow some really motivational people on my social media. Some are more well-known than others. I watch a lot of writing videos and these helped me to finish this book. Through social media I participated in a challenge to write 50,000 words in a month. Writers’ supporting writers’ is always an amazing thing. I also found beta readers for this book through social media, so you can see, sometimes social media can be a great thing.

We all have to remember no matter how we feel, there is always someone worse off than us.

We all need a reminder sometimes and it can be easy to fall into the woe is me mindset. Depression does that to you. It plays with your mind and makes you believe things are so bad that there is no way out. There is! Depression is not worth dying for! I will probably repeat this several times in the book.

So, right now you are probably thinking, well she can’t be depressed or she doesn’t know how it really feels. Trust me I do, and I have had suicidal thoughts in the past. I have sat there thinking everyone would be better off without me and that the only way the pain would go away was if I was dead. It’s just not true. This statement alone shows that depression made me selfish.

Of course my life matters. I have people who love me. You do too, no matter what depression tells you. Depression is a liar. It lies, cheats, manipulates and controls you. It’s like being in an emotionally abusive relationship. But you can get out of it! You never have to stay in a situation like that.

You can be strong. YOU ARE STRONG. Repeat this to yourself.

Choose who you follow on social media wisely. Pick people who are going after their dreams. Pick people who have fought mental health issues and have come out the other side, they give the best advice because they truly know what it feels like. Doctors, Psychologists and Cognitive Behavioural Therapists are great and a must, but they cannot truly understand how you feel if they haven’t experienced it themselves. I talk about this more in the ‘Professional help’ chapter. They say it takes a village to raise a child, well it takes an army to fight depression. No person knows everything or has all the answers. Use the resources available, that’s what they are there for. Why else would these jobs exist if millions and millions of other people before you and after you didn’t need them too?

Write Through Depression is available on Amazon now.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Natalie-Roberts/e/B01MCXMS83?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1573319961&sr=8-1